Gazing upon Death

From the moment of birth, we are walking toward death. Death is at once so certain, yet so uncertain. Its certainty lies in its inevitability; its uncertainty in the timing of its arrival. This "uncertain certainty" manifests its tension under the encroachment of the "future." Once one "future" is lived through, another "future" immediately presses upon the present. We often flee from what we fear, slipping past cross-examinations with excuses and justifications. The following two projects compel myself and the audience to face the fears and myths of death, leaving nowhere to hide. Through these endeavors, I hope to maintain a sense of composure in every second that I live, and in the ultimate moment when I face death in the future.

Close-Up is a cinnamon-flavored red gel toothpaste. I used an electronic scale to measure the toothpaste's weight before use. Through my daily dental care, the weight gradually decreased from an initial 180 grams until the toothpaste was exhausted, leaving only the 7-gram packaging. Beyond the documented images of this depletion, the process was accompanied by yellow sticky notes corresponding to the images. The subject used on these notes was neither "I" nor "he," but exclusively "you."

In fact, there are two distinct "yous" on those yellow sticky notes. One is the toothpaste, with which I maintain a continuous dialogue; the other is the self, questioning and answering itself. The "you" representing the toothpaste allows me to view life and death from a distance; the "you" representing the self induces the emergence of my true inner emotions, thoughts, and realizations. Ultimately, both the "you" of the toothpaste and the "you" of the self are estranged versions of the "I." Only through the disappearance of the self can the spirit assume the position of an outsider, allowing a dialogue that gazes upon death to unfold.

(Originally published in the artist's monograph, 2013)
Note: In subsequent exhibitions (e.g., 2017), the artist evolved the presentation from sticky notes to a notebook format.

凝視死亡

從出生的那一刻起，我們就向著死亡走去。死亡是那麼地確定，同時又那麼地不確定。確定的是它必然要來，不確定的是它什麼時候會來到。這種不確定的確定，是在「未來」的逼近下顯示其張力，活過「未來」後，另一個「未來」又逼在當前。我們常躲避我們所恐懼的，經常以藉口與理由滑過詰問。下面的兩個計劃，逼迫自己與觀眾，無處可逃地，面對死亡的恐懼與迷思。我希望透過這些計劃，使我在我活著的每分每秒，和未來面臨死亡的時刻，有著一份從容。

Close-Up是一款肉桂香味紅色凝膠狀牙膏。我用一個電子秤量出牙膏使用以前重量，隨著我每日的牙齒保健，從一開始的180公克，牙膏的重量逐漸減少，最後牙膏用盡，只剩外包裝7公克。整個過程除了上述牙膏逐漸耗盡的紀錄影像，還伴隨著與影像對應的黃色便利貼。這些便條紙上的主詞沒有「我」及「他」，只有「你」。

事實上，黃色便利貼上有兩個代名詞的「你」。一個是與我持續對話的牙膏；一個是自己對自己的詰問與回答。代表牙膏的「你」，使我能夠有距離的看待生命與死亡這件事；而代表自我的「你」，則誘使我說出內心真正的情緒、想法與領悟。事實上，牙膏的「你」與自我的「你」都是異己的「我」，因為只有自我的消失，才能讓精神做局外觀，讓凝視死亡的對話產生。