I first learned about Buddhism when I was studying in the United States. I once read an essay written by Master Shen Yen, the gist of which was about how practicing Buddhism was like one man climbing up a transparent glass mountain barefooted. As the mountain was steep and its surface slippery because it was covered with oil, one would keep slipping and falling after numerous trials. In the end, the climber fell into deep sleep, worn out by exhaustion. After the climber awoke, it was discovered that the mountain had disappeared. So all of the efforts devoted were in vain. It was nothing but a dream. There was no need at all to climb up the mountain, and there was no progress to be made. In the dream, both the mountain and the climber existed. However, if the climber did not endeavor to perform the impossible, which is to climb up the mountain, he/she could not have possibly woken up from the dream. Later, I told this story in both Chinese and English, recording, playing, and performing the story live. The result was the project "I Try".
At performance venue, I stood in front of a television and video recorder. The television played a video of me wearing different clothes, standing in front of the same television set. Within that television set, I played a video of me standing in front of also a television set. This video-within-video scene of “man and television” was repeated four times, layer after layer in the television of each video. From the innermost television to the outermost television, I talked about the same dream alternately but repeatedly in English and then Chinese. In the video at the innermost layer, I talked about the dream first in English and then in Chinese. At the same time, in the next layer, just lagging one sentence behind the previous video, I told the exact same story first in English, then in Chinese. Finally, at the outermost layer, I told the story in person in alternately in English and then Chinese, and then turned around to turn off the television set, which was playing videos of me talking about the dreams. I gazed at the audience, while the crowd remained silent. Finally, I walked into the audience and stood with them. Suspense generated about whether the performance had already come to an end.
The performance and installation of "I Try" pointed to our existence. Our existence resembles a dream, or even a dream within a dream. When I turned off the television and when the audience came into contact with “reality,” no one could be sure whether the performance had already ended or not. Is it likely that “reality” is just like the images played on television? Since televisions could be turned off, perhaps reincarnation is also the case. Perhaps only when we realize that we are in a kind of cycle can we really wake up from it, just like how I turned around and turned off the television in the performance. I think this piece of work provides a basic model for the pursuit of truth and reincarnation. Those in pursuit of the truth wander in the vast sea of life and death, and the vast world of reincarnation. One may always try to take oneself to a higher level, or to seek transcendence. However, one may realize in the end that reincarnation and nirvana depend on each other, yet neither is real. Eventually, what one has experienced is not a kind of spatial wandering or spiritual transcendence, but something that goes beyond any quality difference of our being. In the end, one returns back to the original nature of mind.

我在美國唸書的時候，開始接觸佛教。有一次讀到聖嚴法師的一篇短文，大意是說，修行就像一個人赤著腳地攀爬一座透明的琉璃山，由於山勢陡峭、表面光滑又佈滿油脂，縱然持續不懈的努力上山，仍然一再地滑下來，最後筋疲力竭的睡去。醒來以後這才發現，山不見了。原來所有的努力，不過是場夢。根本沒有必要爬，也沒有所謂的進步可得。在夢裏，確實有一座山，爬山的人也確實存在，但如果他沒有盡力做這件不可能的事 － 爬上那座山，就不可能由夢中醒來。我後來以中、英文輪流講述這個故事，用多次錄製、播放及現場表演的方式，做成《我試著》這件作品。

在表演的現場，我站在一組電視、錄放影機立架的前面，這個電視播放著我穿著不同的衣服，同樣站在一組電視立架前，如此的「人與電視」重複了四層。從最裡層的電視到最外層的電視，逐漸交替地用英文、中文重複述說著一個夢境。首先，最裡層電視的我開始以英文述說夢境，在英文述說完成後，接著用中文述說。此時電視外的我（第三層）以一句內容的時間差，開始以英文述說夢境，然後又以中文述說。終於，由內而外地輪到現場的我述說這個夢境，在分別以英文、中文講述後，轉身關掉身後仍在述說夢境的電視，看著觀眾，現場陷入一陣靜默中。最後，我走向觀眾，與他們站在一起，留下表演是否已經結束的懸疑。

《我試著》的表演與裝置的形式，指向我們的存有，猶如一個夢境，甚至是夢境中的夢境。當我關掉電視，走向觀眾進入「現實」時，沒有人確實知道這個表演是否已經結束，我們的「現實」會不會也是電視中的影像？電視可以關掉，輪迴的存在只有覺悟才能醒來，有如轉身關掉電視一般。我覺得這件作品提供了輪迴生命、追尋真理的基礎模型，追尋者流浪在生死的輪迴海中，他不斷努力提升、超越，最後終於明白，輪迴與涅槃是互相依賴，二者皆不具真實性。所以，原來他經歷的既不是水平的漂泊，也不是垂直的超越，而是終究了悟一切本來平等不二的道理。

◆《我試著》1996 / 2016｜錄影、過程影像、檔案｜16′ 29″，過程影像：15 x 22 cm x 15張