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Imprisonment Series
1986-1987
Because my father worked as the Principle of a juvenile reform school, I was able to come and go freely at the reform school. As a result, I was impressed by the images of shaved heads, uniforms, roll calls, drills, war songs, and iron bars. I was never really happy in school, and the academic pressure as well as my illness made me feel confined or imprisoned, like I would never be liberated. My blood tests and injections were all performed in secrecy, and only my homeroom teacher and my military training instructor knew I was diabetic because I wanted to keep my illness private.
Of course, self-isolation was a protective shell for me, or made me realized the problem I was facing. Yet at the same time, I lived in anxiety and under stress every minute of the day. When I left home to go to college, the circumstances I was under forced me to make changes, since I had to depend on myself for everything. There was no one there to help me when I suffered from low blood sugar, and this forced me to think seriously about freeing myself from previous self-imprisonment. However, my sense of inferiority or my worries about whether my peers would accept me or not made me hesitate for quite a while. During this period, I started working on the Imprisonment Series. Gradually, I wanted to escape from the prison which was either protecting me or trapping me. For those reasons, I had to come to terms with my past failures or inner demons. I kept thinking about this when I painted and finally made up my mind. Finally, I made public my illness in my freshman year and stopped caring about what or how people thought of me.
監牢系列
1986-1987
由於父親曾任少年輔育院院長的關係,小的時候我可以隨意進出院內,這使我對剃光頭、穿制服、點名、行步操、唱軍歌、鐵門鐵窗的環境,都有很深的印象。我的學校生活從來不曾快樂過,升學主義加上身體的疾病,讓我感覺永遠沒有解脫的一天。我的驗血、注射都是偷偷摸摸的,只有導師以及教官知道我的狀況,我不讓任何人知道我的情形。
自我封閉雖然可以一時保護我,或讓我清楚我遭遇的問題是什麼,但它讓我分分秒秒活在緊張、焦慮之中。當我離家去唸大學的時候,情況逼得我不得不改變,因為我凡事只能靠自己,低血糖發生的時候沒有人可以幫忙我,這逼得我必須認真思考,走出我自己的監牢。但是自卑感與是否被接納讓我猶豫了好一段時間,在這段期間就是我開始畫監牢系列的時候。漸漸的,我想要離開這個保護我,或困住我自己的心牢,所以我必須回去面對我過去失敗、跌倒的情感經驗。一面畫我就一面思考,最後做出決定,終於在大一的時候,我公開了我身體的狀況,我再也不在乎別人用什麼眼光看我或對我如何評價。